fyi, im Back to my xanga.com...

im totally lost!!!

The eyes are the mouth of soul??!!!

I know its a bit funny with this photo~!! But it means alot for me~~!!

Honey says," your mouth says you love me but your eyes telling different story!" hahaha!!!

Loveless

Honey's next purchase 4 me.. Loveless necklace~~!! Never ever look down on this plain pendant as it actually has a story behind (if you're Final Fantasy's fans)... Moreover, the price of this necklace isnt cheap at all... anyway, thanks bump bump~~!!

Just look down on me!

i know many of us tend to judge others by outers and sometimes determine their piety by their outfits. For me, it is pretty common when ppl try to criticize or make a sweet compliment about you. Nah, thats rare! However i dont really mind whatever ppl try to "huha" about me, but it just feel sucked when he/she is someone you love and care the most! Its a real big slap on face and hurts still. Just curious that how you guys feel when you fall into same situation as me? What will you do??!! For me, i do feel dissapointed and helpless but it doesnt stop me here yet it strengthen me~~!!

From now on, im going to keep my eyes wide open, focus ahead and never look down and backwards! I've read one interesting book which the author says " we have little choice but to cross the chasm, knowing that the trip across the wire will be scary. But if you keep your head up and look forward, in the end the greatness will be yours!!! its just extremely powerful~~!!

Just let me moving forward and believe soon GREATNESS will be end of the walk!

thanks mum!!!

Leaving home and study abroad for the first time inevitably brings about emotions one would never expect to occur. I thought further up my studies in oversea would be great as it is one of my biggest dream in lifetime and im glad that my wish come true. I would finally gain the independence I so longed for and felt I deserved. To me, living abroad meant I could live on my own two feet and be the independent woman I've been dreaming to be ever since I was a little girl. Its good when no one cares and i will never hear any earful sounds. haha!!

It also meant no more being told to "Do homework and stop watching tv!" or "Clear up the table!" by my mom. I wouldn't have to do everything she wanted me to do at the drop of a hat. Quickly, I realized I miss the fact that my mom always found a way to tell me what to do and dont. Being so far away from home left me as the sole person to make decisions.

It was up to me to call the shots and decide which path I wanted to take on the highway of life. I could no longer expect my mom to always help guide me through life's toughest decisions and hold my hand each bumpy step of the way.I do wish this somehow. The first time I hit a rough patch at school, I didn't know what to do. All I could think of was, "Is it okay that I ask my mom what to do? I thought Im the one in charge now." I wasn't sure if running to my mom every time I was hurt or upset would help me gain the independence I've always wanted.Through the tears and worries, I soon discovered that it is okay to rely on my mom for help.

I realized that, despite the distance, my mom was still always going to "be there" for me, though maybe not as much as I needed her to be at the time. She was and still is ready to lend a helping hand when I just don't know what to do. There isn't a mean bone in my mom's body. She has always been a helper, the one everyone turns to for advice.It's kind of ironic, but study abroad has actually brought my mom and me a lot closer. She is the first person I call when I'm upset or down. I also know that she confides in me many of the things that are bothering her. I know she is only a phone call away all of the time, ready to drop everything she is doing and ready to help me through my problems.

People always say once you go and study in uni,your life will never be the same. To some extent, I believe that to be true. Of course, life will never be the same. I won't be home permanently ever again and I cant act like a kid either. However, the relationship my mom and i will never change and nothing gonna fade our love away. She will always be the same caring, loving, helping friend to me that she has always been. There will never again be a day when I have to question whether calling my mom when I'm upset is the right thing to do or not .Growing closer to her this past year has made me appreciate how much she has done for me, how much she does for me now, and how much she will do for me in the future. I truly thank my mom for everything she has done for me. She has helped shape me into the person I am today. Without her in my life, I don't know where I would be. She truly is my role model. I only hope that one day I can fill her shoes and return the favor by being the helping hand and listening ear to my own children. BILLION THANKS MUM!!!

and...

I Y HONEYCHIAM ...

From this day, till next day and to the other day or forever.

Due to all these depression, I've got approval from mum to go back in april. So now, lets get me focus on studies and finish all my assignment before i enjoy my upcoming short holiday in Malaysia...yeahooo!!!